Sunday, April 14, 2013

Poddrick the player

Poddrick is an absolute player, who is hung like a horse.

Kudos Pod, you haven't only saved Tyrion from a near death experience when you speared Ser Mandon during the Blackwater battle. But you've stolen my heart.


Drogon Rhaegal and Viserion

Rob with his warhammer vs Rhaegar with his valyrian steel sword on the trident

What is dead may never die

Theon Greyjoy, renowned for nearly making out with his sister, what he claimed was unawares. I swear to the old drowned god and the new one, that doesn't justify your incestuous reason to have the motive to fuck your sister. If Balon Greyjoy found out, he'd ensure "what is dead will remain dead."
As for Luke Skywalker, got his justice when he lost the bet to Han Solo..

The prize being Princess Leia

Nekk Minuut. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E-AmHZ17gWM

Lord of light

Melisandre, the textbook version of maneater, who would have thought anyone could penetrate through that cold, stern, bitter mug of Stannis's. *Cracks whips and makes cat sound.*

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JXXe2aVa1Ek

Ser Gregor Clegane


Saturday, April 13, 2013

Where for art thou Jon

The sheepish face of Jon Snow, he was conceived by some whore, from Ned Starks Adultery when he was Battling The Mad King Aery's Targaryen with Robert on the Trident. Is an embarrassment to the Stark name and won't even get any sympathy from Catelyn, is banished to the wall as a crow to serve the nights watch as a steward/ranger. With the appearance of a stunned mullet version of Orlando Bloom, Jon can't quite pinpoint where he belongs, having such an identity crisis far worse than Robin Williams in Mrs Doubtfire, he's surely on the brink of disaster. He's made a monumental fuckup by taking an oath with the nights watch, where he will never return South of the wall, or even fornicate with a woman. But we all know Jon, he can't keep it in his pants, after meeting the gorgeous Ygritte and breaking his oath, he really is a despicable person who isn't true to his word.
That is why Jon, you've earned yourself the title of douchebag of the week. I hope your direwolf ghost eats your entrails then shits you out.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MAp8j4c2LGs
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CIU9UCpkMps

I like too moove, mooove it.


HODORS PLUS NO FUSS!


Probably one of the most underrated characters of them all, this gallant, brave, kindred spirit has gone above and beyond to be the caretaker for the crippled boy named Bran. Despite his lack of linguistic ability to string a sentence together, he manages to make up for it with effort and noble persistence. It's admirable that he hand weaved a basket to hoist around brans load, all the time and not complain.
Hodor, you deserve to lock your knob and knocker into the wildling Osher, get editing George RR Martin.

That should be no fuss http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WNRI_S3b_WE

A Lannister always pays for his shrooms

By the far the most popular character of them all, he really does set the benchmark for the Lannister collective. On April 1st,  the official HBO website announced that Peter Dinklage would be stepping down from his prolific role as Tyrion Lannister and was going to be replaced, by a dwarfy man by the name of Warwick Davis who you may be familiar with from Harry Potter when he starred as Professor Filius Flitwick. As you could imagine, the hate male overwhelmed the HBO office, they had to come clean with their practical joke and make amends with the vast group of Tyrion fanatics. The good news it was all an April Fools joke, *obviously* and that Dinklage has extended his contract for Season 4!

Jack Gleenson < Hitler

The young Jack Gleeson is what we all remember, he came from an abusive family, were domestic violence house calls would be a casual affair for him, he'd get beaten up at school by fellow peers, who never believed his theories about the batman been factual.

If only we had a time machine to help him change his attitude on life, because now, he's waged a vendetta against all, and is so spiteful he makes Draco Malfoy look like a saint. He gave Ned Stark the chopping block as we all saw in Season 1, but it didn't stop there he sexually abused a whore by lashing her with Stag horns. Jack Gleeson your barstard tendencies, make us question not only your character Joffrey Baratheon, but also your genuine self.  You have far too much fury for a Stag, and you could never pay enough debt back to the world which you owe so much. Please exile yourself from the world.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xZ9aIqk4Aaw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qYNeT2nzEgA


Satisfaction will be mine.

Arya Stark features a Tarantino epic, with promises to delight and shock. Jaqen H'Ghar gives her an invaluable coin, whenever she is in Bravos. She must say "Valar Morghulis." Which in high Valyrian translates to "All men must die." 

A lot of people are on her hit list, but first she must wiggle her big toe.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vHl24Kjp5Vs

Ice-cream man is here!

The gorgeous Emilia Clarke, scoffing down a scrumptious ice-cream treat, that is layered with a hearty surprise.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2JfMCBh1sJQ