Where for art thou Jon
The sheepish face of Jon Snow, he was conceived by some whore, from Ned Starks Adultery when he was Battling The Mad King Aery's Targaryen with Robert on the Trident. Is an embarrassment to the Stark name and won't even get any sympathy from Catelyn, is banished to the wall as a crow to serve the nights watch as a steward/ranger. With the appearance of a stunned mullet version of Orlando Bloom, Jon can't quite pinpoint where he belongs, having such an identity crisis far worse than Robin Williams in Mrs Doubtfire, he's surely on the brink of disaster. He's made a monumental fuckup by taking an oath with the nights watch, where he will never return South of the wall, or even fornicate with a woman. But we all know Jon, he can't keep it in his pants, after meeting the gorgeous Ygritte and breaking his oath, he really is a despicable person who isn't true to his word.
That is why Jon, you've earned yourself the title of douchebag of the week. I hope your direwolf ghost eats your entrails then shits you out.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MAp8j4c2LGs
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CIU9UCpkMps
Okay, first, Eddard Stark didn't battle Rhaegar on the Trident, it was Robert Baratheon.
ReplyDeleteRhaeger wasn't the Mad Kind. That was Aerys Targaryen II, Rheagar was his son.
He wasn't 'banished to the wall, he chose to go. And he was named a steward after he said the words, not before, as a punishment.
I'm not sure he is having an identity crisis at all. And stunned mullet version of Orlando Bland, not sure what that means to be honest.
Castle Black IS south of the Wall.
"We all know Jon, he can't keep it in his pants"? have you even seen the show or read the books? He's a virgin.
And calling him despicable, WHAT are you talking about?
I think maybe you should learn a little more about this before getting everything wrong.
Okay Jason Fisk, this blog is purely satire.
ReplyDeleteIf you want to criticize me for my workings, you clearly do have a lot of time on your hands.
I'm glad you're such a perfectionist, how Is that treating you by the way?